Thursday, July 12, 2012

Down A Dark Alley: The 2000s Continued

Even though this movie barely gets a passing grade, one of the biggest reasons why it pales in comparison to the original lies in that picture. Look at that kid. He's not creepy. He looks angry, but that doesn't scare or creep me out. The kid in the original was freaky. I could buy that he was the anti-Christ, that he was evil, and he had a grin that chilled me to the bone. Whoever the hell this John Moore dude is, well he failed to realize what Richard Donner knew from the get go: the kid has to be convincing in the role. This is why Donner has made some great films and is still known for having some talent, while Moore is someone I've never heard of.

The one thing this movie has going for it besides the good cast is the visuals. Visually this movie is so utterly stunning, I just wanted to mute the actors and look at the colors. I believe that the visuals in some ways save the movie, along with the fact that the movie actually amplifies in some ways many of the awesome key scenes from the original. In some ways this film is a re-imagining of the original, in other ways a homage, but for the most part its can be considered a copy of the 1976 movie. A poorly made copy that should have been left in the fax machine, although hey it looks pretty and a lot of effort went into it. Yey!

Writing the review for this movie was easier, because there really wasn't much here. And because it was a weak remake that was largely made to capitalize on the fact that hey in 2006, there was June 6th, which is the 6th month, on the 6th day, of a year ending in 6, and maybe it was released at 6:06 pm, I really don't know. And I really don't care. Too bad, considering the cast's level of talent (even Julia Stiles deserved better, and she's not really a bad actress). Liv Schreiber is a good actor in his own right, and I'm glad that he's been in much better movies. People wonder why the horror genre dies a lot, goes underground for a while. Relying too much on crappy remakes and sequels is manly the reason why, but then Hollywood's never prized originality anyways. 60

Scare Level: 3.0

Despite the fact that this Masters of Horror segment is not really scary, its eerie and creepy due to the fact that its primarily about the end of the world. The end doesn't come though through conventional or typical means, but because the males go crazy and decide to kill the females. Which of course means that since last time I checked you need both to have a kid, this is not good news. Although I guess there is artificial insemination or what have you.

On top of that, this episode is pretty well done, a rock solid entry into the series crafted by horror legend Joe Dante. The guy's made some really famous and well regarded horror films, and here he wisely works within the limited boundaries of the hour long format. I think its rather good that this story is only an hour long, as there really isn't much more material for a full length feature film.

Sure there's some weak acting, and near the end we see some rather poor FX that doesn't make a whole lot of sense, and just muddies the waters even more. What I do like besides the awesome presence of Elliot Gould is that we never get a concrete, sure fire explanation as to why this happened. Was it aliens? An angry God? Furious Mother Nature? Something else unknown? I like that the finale is pretty open ended, and leaves us with questions. Sometimes there are no easy answers. 83

Scar Level=3.0

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