Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Down A Dark Alley Presents: 1990s Horror

Ah yes, the 1990s-a decade when horror went underground. Yet there are some really good, even great entries into the horror genre during this period, although as noted in one of my write ups there were also some awful ones, although that's true of every decade. Here's a couple that sort of encompass what the 90s had to offer.

What more can I say about a film that has accurately been labeled one of the worst movies of all time? This film has to be seen to be believed, for its badness is all in a class by itself. The hilarity level is insanely high, and I can't imagine anyone aside from small children finding this movie to be at all scary.

Never mind the wretched dialogue, the acting that makes the people in the Friday the 13th series look like trained thespians, or the fact that many scenes absolutely do not make any sense at all. I was laughing so hard throughout, not only at the crazy ghost grandpa that keeps appearing and then vanishing at all the wrong times, but at the evil she-bitch supposedly driving things.

This film has everything from corn porn (I'm not kidding. You have to see it to really believe it, and its very funny), to a guy screaming about them eating him, and oh yeah Grandpa is actually creepier than any of the goblins. There's not a troll to actually be found in this film, which means that the film makers cannot only be sued for wasting people's time and money with this crap, but also for a misleading title. Not that anyone would waste their time doing so, although God knows at the same time we did end up with something that proves that anyone can make a movie. And sucker someone into financing it regardless of how horrible it is. 25, but a 90 on the laughter scare

Scare Level (out of 10)=-5. Yes, you read that right. -5 is correct.

PS: Here's the hilarious and classic scene that really makes the movie:

Without a doubt this is the most bloody, most gory horror movie I have ever seen. The film starts off relatively crazy to begin with before settling down into a false sense of calm before a storm that unleashes itself in a fashion relative to other films such as The Evil Dead series, giving us moments that must be seen to be believed. I had no idea what I was getting into when I viewed this film, and boy was it a hidden, awesome, freaky weird treat.

Right now I'm struggling to find images from the film that I can actually post without offending people's sensibilities, and ones that aren't extremely nasty. This film has everything from a demonic zombie baby that results in a hilarious slapstick routine in the park, to the grand finale involving a lawn mower and tons of zombies. Plus there's the kung fu priest who kicks ass for the Lord, and a gigantic monster that reminded me of the ones in The Evil Dead II and some other films I've seen.

Back before he made the Lord of the Rings movies, Jackson was known for making some of the nastiest horror movies around. I'm still hoping for that Jackson to return, as so far I've enjoyed two of his horror films (The Frightners is another one). Gotta love a movie that manages to mix in comedy with horror, and also be highly entertaining to no end. I'm not sure if this movie is excellent. I don't even know if its worthy of the rating I gave it. But I think it is. That's all that matters. 98

Scare Level=2.0

Really I don't need to see all of Robert Rodriguez's filmography to know that this is his best movie. I also liked Sin City, but I find this movie more refreshing, since it is a more original work and has a kinetic energy that works extremely well. The fact that he also gets away with casting George Clooney as a dark anti-hero is something interesting, plus the fact that Clooney works completely against type here. I like that alot, even though the rest of the cast is fairly standard, although having Fred "The Hammer" Williamson and Tom "FX Master" Savini, and Danny Trejo plus hottie Selma Hayek is all around cool.

Despite the movie not being a full fledged horror movie, I count it as such considering that the first half is merely build up for the insanity that follows in the second, more incredibly entertaining last half. To me the movie wisely builds up the characters and their motivations, gives us a kickass and darkly comedic opener, and then goes into Grindhouse mode in Mexico as the shit hits the fan and the vampires reveal themselves in a rather freaky and surprising manner. Although these creatures of the night are far different, and do not fit the typical vampire standard, as some are really more like vicious mindless animals, resembling almost zombies. While others are quite human like, so the movie really doesn't follow or have a consistent opinion on the matter.

The last act brilliantly goes into crazy overdrive, featuring tons of violence, blood, and much killing, as if Rodriguez was being paid by the hour to chock in as much overbearing yet radical moments as possible. Too bad that the movie really doesn't have much of a good ending, though, or that it manages to go beyond anything basic. Still what fun is to be had watching such a film, and a good reminder that what a movie should at least aim for is leaving the viewer with the feeling they watched something worthwhile. 85

Scare Level=5.5/10

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